Let's Talk About Disappointment

This past weekend was supposed to be the weekend that I earned my Spartan Trifecta. The weekend that I beasted the rope climb. The weekend that I found my physical and mental limits and pushed through them.

It was also supposed to be a special weekend for my oldest son and I.

See, this kid is my always down to take on a challenge kid. He's my drop everything to help mom out kid. He's my patiently listen to me rant and rage when I'm stressed kid. And he so rarely gets the acknowledgement that he deserves.

This Trifecta weekend started as a goal he and I made together. It's a special way for us to celebrate our mother-son bond. But it's also important to me that my son see me achieve this. I want him to see how strong, determined, and powerful a woman can be. I want to strengthen the respect he has for women. I want to reinforce his understanding that women can.

Spartan has given me the opportunity to watch my son demonstrate respect for my strength by pushing me to go harder, while also maintaining his chivalry by doing every burpee with me even though he didn't have to do them.

Unfortunately, he's an adult now and bound by adult responsibilities. When he found out he would no longer be able to have off work for Trifecta weekend, I had to decide whether or not to run anyway. Without him.

Except that it wasn't really a decision. Of course I couldn't run without him. This is our thing. He's the only one willing to carry me through the monkey bars. And for real, mama ain't made of money. Race entries are expensive.

It was disappointing. I spent the weekend watching my friends post photos and send videos and update statuses while they completed their Trifecta. I was jealous. I mean, I was so excited for them and so so proud of them. But I was also completely jealous of them. But that's ok. Disappointment just serves to increase the drive for success. It just makes me hungrier for a Spartan Beast. Last week I was anxiously nervous to face a Beast. Now I'm craving it. I NEED it.

So, new plan.

We'll defer our race entries and take on the Sprint, Super, and Beast as we are able to. At this point, it looks like we'll be able to kick off our Trifecta races in November. (Or I may have to make him quit his job so it stops interfering with my extracurriculars...)

And when we crush the Beast together, it will have been totally worth the temporary disappointment.